Cyrano! - added as of 6 Dec 99 Do you want to tell someone special just how you feel about them, but just can't find the right words? Let Cyrano write that letter for you! Choose valentines, love letters or even breaking up: personalize it, add onsite images, sounds and multimedia clips for extra punch and Cyrano will create it. He'll even email your intended to let them know where they can pick up your letter. Try the "surreal" style of love letter -- just for fun!

The Medieval Oath Server - Vengance is sweet! Not only does The Medieval Oath Server dish up raunchy, brimstone-tainted Medieval oaths for your pleasure and entertainment, but it also allows you to email them to the victim(s) of your choice. Even better: since some of the terms are rather obscure, a handy Olde English-to-Modern English dictionary is also provided to help you translate what you've just said. You can improve your cursing vocabulary at the same time!

An tInneal Mallachtai - The Gaelic Curse Engine. Now you can curse like Brian Boru! Want to know how to say "May a pack of drunken Fomorians soil your underwear" in Gaelic??? Not only does the Curse Engine give you the proper Gaelic ("Go salai scata Fomhorach olta do chuid fo-eadaigh!") but it also provides a most helpful phonetic guide to pronunciation at the same time! This link courtesy of our special correspondent, Mike Harris of Houston.

How to Speak Scots - You've always wanted to tell someone "Do you think just because I come from Carronshore I cannot fight? I shall hit you over the head with a cold potato!" Now you can! Here you'll find seven quick lessons in speaking the Scots dialect of English, with WAV and RA soundfiles provided to perfect that broad Scottish accent. This link also courtesy of our special correspondent, Mike Harris of Houston.

Shakespeare was never at a loss for words--nor were our Medieval ancestors when it came down to trading insults. Fact is, a "tongue-lashing" nowadays is pretty mild, even tame by comparison. Most Americans, for example, have an "insult vocabulary" of perhaps two dozen words and phrases at best--and most of that consists of vulgarities and obscenities. On the other hand, Your average Elizabethan could draw instantly on a far-broader, far more descriptive verbal arsenal of over 150 words for any battle of wits.
Consider the impact of "Yo' Mama!" as opposed to "Thou puking, rump-fed, maggot-pie!" for instance--especially when the latter phrase is uttered with all the scorn and venom you can muster!
Fortunately, you don't have to be a Shakespearean scholar nor wade through massive tomes of Elizabethan literature to access this arsenal. Sheena Shepard Gunn, Chieftess of Clan Gunn, has already assembled these words into a "Chinese menu" form (choose one from column A, one from column B and so on). This material is available as a FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions), which was originally submitted to the newsgroup alt.fairs.renaissance by Sandra Shepard and appears therein monthly. It is ©Sheena Shepard Gunn.
Ryleh has taken the liberty of translating Ms. Gunn's original insult generator into a JavaScript-driven Webpage. No infringement of Ms. Gunn's work is implied nor intended: it is offered here simply for its' entertainment value.
You can access the

RANDOM RENAISSANCE INSULT GENERATOR now simply by clicking on the sword, below.

RIDE THE DRAGON (below) to return to Ryleh's Main Page by clicking on its icon!

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