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Are you Man enough, are you BARBARIC enough to be a Viking? Find out now by taking this quick multiple-choice test!
1.) Your education level is:
a. college graduate or higher.
b. high school graduate/some college.
c. any one or all of these: fostered to uncle or trusted Jarl/oral traditions of the Skalds/apprenticeship to a longship captain.
d. just the four "R's": Rape, Pillage, Burn and Plunder.
2.) When you first heard about this test, you:
a. thought to yourself: "Maybe I could be a Viking!"
b. thought to yourself: "Let's see if I've got what it takes to be a Viking..."
c. handed this paper to the monk you captured on Ionia and told him to read it to you.
d. said: "Test???!? Vikings don't take no stinkin' TESTS!!!"
3.) You get home for dinner. What do you prefer to eat?
a. A bag of snacks.
b. bread with cheese.
c. steak fresh from Ireland.
d. raw meat of a polar bear.
4.) Someone calls your sister "reindeerface". How do you react?
a. you agree.
b. you punch him.
c. you kill him.
d. you graciously accept his marriage proposal to your sister.
5.) Your wife walks around in your pants. Do you:
a. Follow her lead and wear one of her dresses.
b. demand for her to give you your pants back.
c. divorce her.
d. Undo the flaps and go from there: leather is just sexy as Hel!
6.) How do you like to bathe?
a. in a hot bath with bath oil beads and foaming soap.
b. a cold shower.
c. let the dirt sweat off your body while in a sauna then go for a roll in the snow afterwards.
d. standing on the bow of a longship bound for Greenland, naked and letting the freezing salt spray wash the dirt and grime away.
7.) What is your favorite hobby?
a. reading books.
b. listening to great stories, tales of fierce battles and high adventure.
c. fighting and wrestling until you are exhausted.
d. collecting things: illuminated manuscripts from Ireland, gold from England, fine art from France, gold from Spain, wine from Italy, gold from Constantinople...
8.) You view a documentary on the "The Great Age of Exploration and Discovery". You:
a. go to the library/search the Web for more information on that era.
b. daydream nostalgically about "the good old days".
c. immediately begin planning a series of daring, lightning raids with your longships and men on the New World, Africa and Asia so you won't be left out of the plunder!
d. think to yourself as the narrator talks about new lands discovered, colonies founded and native civilizations conquered: "Been there, done that!".
9.) You are invited to a wedding, how long do you enjoy the party afterwards?
a. one hour
b. one day
c. a month
d. "Wedding? Was there a wedding?"
10.) You go to a party and drink some ale. When do you think you have drunk enough?
a. midnight.
b. when you pass out.
c. in the morning when it's time for the breakfast mead.
d. when there's none left and you haven't found any in the last five towns you sacked, either.
11.) You decide to hold an intimate party for 200 of your closest friends. How will you feed them?
a. hire a fancy French caterer to provide a 12-course dinner complete with hors d'oeuvres, ice sculptures and string quartet.
b. call Domino's--they deliver!
c. stampede a herd of cattle thru the banqueting hall and let your guests tear off what they want as the cattle run by.
d. organize your guests into a raiding party and descend on your nearest neighbor to plunder his larder: food and entertainment!
12.) What is the best thing about horses?
a. to ride off into nature.
b. horse races/racing.
c. They don't talk back.
c. training the horses to battle each other to the death.
13.) What would you wear to battle?
a. a full suit of plate armor, a helmet, a shield and a bullet proof vest.
b. a chainmail hauberk and a helm.
c. nothing but a small piece of leather that would inspire you with the strength of the animal from which it was made.
d. A big sword, a big axe, and a big grin...
14.) What would you use as an alternative to toilet paper?
a. yesterday's newspaper.
b. moss.
c. your fingers.
d. "toilet paper???!? Vikings don't use no stinkin' TOILET PAPER!!!!!"
If your score is:
51 to 56 = You are a Saga Viking!
45 to 50 = Never fear, there is a bench in Valhalla with your name on it!
39 to 44 = You might make an OK Viking.
21 to 38 = Perhaps the Viking life is not for you.
14 to 20 = Viking, Hel! You'd do better to pick up a rapier, wear lace and drench yourself in fancy French perfume!
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